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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles feels he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he explains. You feel invincible and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are usually followed by a “emotional downturn”, where he feels sensitive and ashamed about his behavior, leaving him highly sensitive to criticism from others. He first suspected he might have NPD after investigating his behaviors through digital sources – and was later confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis if he hadn’t independently formed that realization on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they harbor beliefs of dominance. “They’re in a delusional world that they made for themselves. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

Though people have been identified with narcissism for decades, definitions vary what is meant by the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states a leading researcher, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he suggests many people conceal it, as there is so much stigma associated with the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like pursuing power,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Although three-quarters of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are men, studies indicates this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” says a young adult who posts about her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with handling criticism and being turned down,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to self-protection or I withdraw entirely.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been trying to overcome it and accept input from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the negative conduct of her previous life. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners in my youth,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she says she and her significant other “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of positive role models in her youth. “I’ve been learning over the years which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say in conflicts because it wasn’t modeled for me as a kid,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my household were belittling me during my childhood.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be connected with difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” notes a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “connected with that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the NPD-diagnosed people, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve good grades and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He didn’t think experiencing genuine affection, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, struggles with feelings. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he notes – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, an assessment was arranged to a therapist for an assessment and was given the NPD label. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (extended treatment is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for an extended period: It was indicated it is probably going to be early next year.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that all narcissists are abusers”, but, personally, he has embraced the diagnosis. The awareness assists me to understand myself better, which is positive,” he explains. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the growth of NPD content creators and the development of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number